Hook Eagle Morris Men
Hook and the Eagles through
Presented by Rob Turner
1st May, 2000
The quaint, typically English village of Hook nestled in the picturesque valley of the M3 has been totally ignored by contemporary historians. This is surprising because a number of pivotal incidents have occurred there, due in no small measure to the intermittent existence of the Hook Eagle Morris Men.
Archaeological evidence suggests a primitive hunter/gatherer/plumber/I.T.Consultant community centred on a number of huts grouped around the 7-11. Rude carvings have been found, some making rude gestures. Without doubt the first Eagles.
The Roman Era
Hook and the Eagles fought resolutely against the Roman invaders. At this time the Eagles were coloured blue. The Romans were angered at this resistance (woad rage) and defeated the gallant Britons by the underhand tactic of only fighting after 5:30 when the defendants had gone down the pub.
The Battle of Hastings
King Harold persuaded Hook Men at Arms to join him by telling them it was 1066. As they had only had mead at about OG:1035 up to then they followed him to Hastings. However no-one got a skin-full, Harold got an eyeful, and we were ruled by a Norman who is still our squire.
The Civil War
There was no battle of Hook. It is rumoured that Eagles switched allegiance from Royalist to Parliamentarian and back several times, depending on whose round it was. Several plastic Spitfires, Hurricanes and Wellington bombers suggest the possible formation of a New Model Airforce.
The Crimean War
Several Eagles fought in theCrimea, as it gave them the opportunity to wear strange clothes (cardigans, balaclavas etc) Most notable was the famous Arthur Leeg, the onwardest of the Light Programme and inventor of wireless.
The Present Day
As can be seen the Hook Eagles have been at their strongest at times of National Crisis and have helped bring about victory, social change, political upheaval etc.
So what is their raison d’être now? It can be no coincidence that less than 10 years into their current manifestation 24-hour pub opening is to become law.